Emotional intelligence is a critical component of support work. Knowing how to regulate your emotions and “read” others (and the spaces you both occupy) are highly underrated skills. Let’s explore how executive assistants can increase their prowess and skyrocket their value by embracing emotional intelligence.
What does it mean to be emotionally intelligent?
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage and understand your emotions and those around you. It involves high “self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills” (Mental Health America).
It means regulating your feelings and understanding the underlying emotions of others so you don’t react in unhealthy ways toward them or yourself. People keen on emotional intelligence are less likely to lash out in the workplace or other social situations because they can pinpoint emotions and the frequent shifts they often make.
How do I know if I’m an emotionally intelligent assistant?
Very Well Mind reports that emotionally intelligent people typically have
- An ability to identify and describe what people are feeling
- An awareness of personal strengths and limitations
- Self-confidence and self-acceptance
- The ability to let go of mistakes
- An ability to accept and embrace change
- A strong sense of curiosity, particularly about other people
- Feelings of empathy and concern for others
- Sensitivity to the feelings of other people
- Ease accepting responsibility for mistakes
- and the ability to manage emotions in difficult situations.
Executive, virtual, or administrative assistants may exhibit this trait by
Maintaining objectivity when giving or receiving feedback
Offering diplomatic responses to challenging or ill-intended questions
Expressing genuine concern when details of hardship are shared (and follow up on them in conversations with coworkers or executives)
Communicating with a thorough, accessible, systematic approach
Being open and honest about the limitations of their skills
Being unafraid to say, “I don’t know, but I’ll find out,” or “Can you help me with…” or “What if we tried…”
Receiving critique with openness and a willingness to improve.
Why is emotional intelligence a significant ability for executive assistants?
According to Yale.Edu, emotional intelligence can positively affect work performance, mental and physical health, and social intelligence.
It’s important to remember that executive assistants oversee multiple responsibilities: theirs, the leaders they support, and possibly the team members they supervise. An emotionally unhealthy administrative professional will have difficulty meeting the demands of their role.
Many CEOs, entrepreneurs, and C-Suite-level executives rely on their assistants as the second brains of their operations. Low levels of emotional intelligence can make it challenging to set aside personal feelings, discern the needs of others, or maintain clear thinking and problem-solving energy.
In addition, people who practice emotional intelligence mitigate stress better. They can recognize triggers, re-prioritize, set boundaries, and take the time to replenish themselves to keep their best foot forward at work.
Here’s how executive assistants can increase their prowess and skyrocket their value with emotional intelligence:
Kill the ego
One of the fastest ways to spot immaturity is to find someone who thinks they’re always right. Administrative professionals should avoid the “I told you so” mentality.
Communicating value is never about proving people wrong; that rarely solves anything. They also need tough skin (objectivity) to give and receive feedback from leadership teams; an impartial attitude may not be entirely possible, but learning to navigate the goals of teams, projects, and people without allowing personal preferences to cloud your judgment goes a long way, further highlighting your value. Your reputation will speak for itself if you’re known for consistently helping the company uncover ways to perform more efficiently.
Suggest, don’t demand
Did you know emails have a tone? Oftentimes, coworkers can easily detect a “less than friendly” email in their inbox.
For instance, discussing revisions in an email chain can quickly go downhill, especially if one party becomes too adamant about their changes. Instead of using absolute language, “always,” “never,” “all,” “none,” “every,” and “only” to express your feedback, consider using relative phrases or questions such as “Would it better to…” or is there a way we can incorporate ‘x’ without eliminating ‘y’?”
The latter leaves room for others to join the conversation and decide on an outcome together and opens the floor for the decision maker(s) (if present) to make the call.
Use Active Listening
Understanding is the primary goal of active listeners.
They’re not merely hearing their conversation partner but decoding what the other person or parties may or may not be saying.
Active listeners are more concerned with quality responses and staying engaged in the conversation rather than rebuttals to what was said.
Practice Diplomacy
Executive assistants do well in practicing diplomacy or tact in their exchanges with others, which means handling people and situations so there is little or no ill will present.
Exhibiting diplomacy allows one to maintain workplace discretion, respect, and advocacy easily.
Maintain Accountability
Own your stuff, especially when things go wrong. It’s easy to take credit for the big wins, but humans tend to blame others when things go wrong.
Emotionally intelligent executive professionals are accountable for the totality of their success, which includes their failures.
Emotional intelligence is a crucial interpersonal skill that professionals should not shy away from. Executive assistants with adept social intelligence skills steadily increase their value and that of their organizations.
For more help with interpersonal skills in the workplace, register for the online, self-paced course, How to be a People Person (When You’re Not Actually a People Person).
~Servant’s Heart, Staff